Passion

The loss of a relationship can be incredibly hard - you can feel so much pain. There’s not only the grief from losing someone important in your life, but the pain of seeing your hopes and dreams of a future life together disappear as well. Sometimes this is the hardest part - having to totally readjust your view of how you saw your life unfolding in the next 5 to10 years. Suddenly, you can’t see into the future and it’s scary.

You may feel like you’re starting over - that you’ve lost everything that was important to you and you’re not sure what to do anymore. It may be hard for you to imagine your life without your partner - your lives have been so intertwined.  Let yourself know that you will get through this.

You may find yourself questioning who you can trust, including your own judgment since you may not have expected the break-up. You may wonder if you were wrong to have trusted your partner. You may begin to question how real your relationship was because if it was real how could it be over?

Your ability to trust may feel shaky. You probably trusted your partner, and expected your relationship to last. You may feel alone and abandoned, even if you’re the one who decided to leave.

While it takes time, you can re-build trust in yourself and others again. Even though this relationship is over that doesn’t mean that you were wrong to trust her/him, and even if you were that doesn’t mean that you’ll make that mistake again. You can learn from this.

First off, it is important to ask yourself what you consider a real relationship to be. You need to understand what your needs and desires are from another person, and what you are willing to give them. This way, you can see early in your first dates, if you wish to continue and work towards a future together, and if the other person feels the same of course (both sides count).

Once you have decided to have an official relationship, you both need to remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. For instance, what attracted you to each other both physically and emotionally? What do you admire about his or her personality? This will help not taking the other for granted, which can often happen after two people have been together for a long time. This does not mean the love is fading, but it does mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem can be solved when both people are willing to make the time and effort.

Everyone is independent in their own beliefs and ideas about things, so never expect a person to always see things your way. However, it is important to have similar expectations out of a relationship, if you wish to avoid frequent arguments. Look for things like whether or not it is important for the both of you to see each other everyday, or have sex often. While seeing each other on a daily basis seems wonderful and healthy to some people, others may feel smothered and need space to have some alone time. Or if sex is on the top of your list, but is not on your partners, you might want to consider that, unless you do not mind waiting or taking care of yourself once in a while.depending on how long you have to wait!

Patience is one of the main keys to a healthy relationship. There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in which is pleasing to us, but this does not mean we have to take it so seriously or personally. Always slow down, take a deep breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a certain way. Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they are not entitled to act freely and they feel attacked, not to mention it shows that you automatically assume the worst of them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter what the situation may be, patience is golden in a relationship, unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you (which would mean you need counseling or leave the relationship).

Think back to when you first “fell in love” with your husband. You wanted to spend every minute with him. People made fun of you because you were so giddy. You did everything you could to romance him. You dressed your best. You surprised him with little gifts. You wore perfume. You smiled. You laughed. You gave and gave. Nothing could come between the love you had for each other…

Yet, now, you are so busy and tired or maybe you’re just bored with each other. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are, you can still be romantic.

The essence of sexual enjoyment for a woman is self-giving. Give yourself wholly, joyfully, hilariously…Neither husband nor wife should withhold this pleasure from the other except by mutual agreement for a limited time. His body belongs now to you, yours to him. Each has “power” over the other’s, each holding the other’s in holiness and honor under God. You will find that it is impossible to draw the line between giving pleasure and receiving pleasure. If you put the giving first, the receiving is inevitable.

“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” (I Corinthians 7:3-5)

Take God’s words seriously and truly give yourself to your husband.